Summer update

Hi! Hope you are all enjoying a relaxing and fun summer. Just wanted to share an update with those of you who are wondering what is going on. I went through spring with multiple reconstruction visits to the plastic surgeon for the finishing touches. I had a nipple reconstruction and then when those healed, I had areolas tattooed on. I can finally say I am part of that "elite" club of tattooed people. Hopefully it can get me a discount to the Wisconsin Dells!! Let me just mention that this hurt like hell and was quite a process that I hadn't anticipated. I was released from weekly appointments on June 15th and told to come back in 6 months - Yippeee! So I am enjoying a much need break from doctors appointments and am living in fine chemical balance of tamoxifen and balancing all of the side effects. Life is as close to normal as I am going to get. It's a new normal!
I ran a 5K in June and am scheduled for a mini triathlon and the Urbanathlon in a relay this fall. I am feeling great! My only complaint is the hair. I prayed and prayed for hair and then I got it. It is totally curly and I am sporting a white girl afro - which gets especially poofy after time spent in the pool. These are problems I have never had always having super straight hair!! So life is good if that is my short list of complaints!! Here is a picture of the new 'do. I even have a little curly mullet brewing back there - Hey Billy Ray Cyrus - I'm coming after you!!

That is Clay, Me, Lisa & Adam (Clay's sister & Brother-in Law) before U2 at Soldier Field!

I want to invite you to join me and my family for the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure" in Lombard at Yorktown Mall on Sunday, September 25th. It is a wonderful way to kick off Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October. I'd be honored to have you celebrate my one year anniversary with me! There is a walk, a 5K run and even a 10K run. Follow the link and join my team...Treasure Your Chest!

http://www.komenchicago.org/komen-race-for-the-cure/teams/

Call or email me with any questions.

Hope you are enjoying this beautiful summer!

What? There's more?!?!?!

Sorry, I have been a bad blogger as of late. Here is what happening in Round 3 of the cancer fight (Yes round 3, that explains the "what, there's more?") I had no clue what I was in for post surgery and post chemo. I thought I was done. I lost my hair, I lived through chemo and surgery, I thought for sure I was done. I thought I'd be popping a pill daily and things would be super easy. Wrong-o! There have been some challenges that I was completely unaware of. I've been thrown into menopause. At first glance no period sounds like a gift but along with that comes moodiness and hot flashes. Hot flashes are fine but not three of them in the middle of the night disrupting my much loved sleep. I am in phase 1 of anti-hot flash treatment and I'm going au naturel with a high dose of vitamin E and melatonin. Whole Foods is going to love me as I stocked up on a whole arsenal of tricks including black cohosh. You have to be extra careful that what you are putting in your body doesn't change the effectiveness of the tamoxifen. Clay kindly referred to me as a science experiment. Here's hoping that with a few more weeks under my belt my body will adjust to the change and the supplements will help. Also, there is some ridiculous post chemo let down. Who knew? You think you'd be psyched to be done but you are left feeling a little helpless and wondering now what? It's very strange.

I have two more outpatient procedures this spring. If you are squeamish...stop reading now. I will have nipple reconstruction and need to get my tattoos. Yes, I will be able to say that I have 2 tattoos! I am feeling really good physically and I am sure that working out through this whole ordeal has helped enormously. I feel very close to how I felt pre-diagnosis and it's only been 6 months! Life has returned back to normal or the usual Hafner crazy level of normal :)

Looking ahead, please save the date for Sunday, September 25th. That is the Lombard, IL Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I will be setting up a team and would be thrilled to have you walk along side me as I celebrate my 1 year cancer free anniversary!

Speaking of anniversaries...my friend Mary Youngman just celebrated her 5 year anniversary in November from colon cancer. In celebration of this major accomplishment her relay for life team, The Sun Rays, organized a fashion show fundraiser that celebrated the beauty of life. Mary asked me in December if I'd be willing to model as all models are cancer survivors. I said yes not only because it was a great cause and a fun event but also because Mary has been a huge source of positivity and support to me. There is just nothing better than the wisdom and support a survivor can give to you. Here is a link to the story that was just published in our local paper:

http://www.pioneerlocal.com/evanston/lifestyles/trend/3087400,doings-cancerfashion-030311-s1.article

You'll see in the picture there isn't much hair but it really is growing! I had to color it because it was coming it white. I mean like 80 year old lady white. No offense to any 80 year old ladies but white hair is not attractive on a 38 year old. So I hit the bottle and am back to being a happy brunette! Here is a picture of my nephew (he just turned 16!) and me. I thought we looked like twins but you'll notice he has a boat load of more hair that I do!

So I retired the scarves and moved on to hats and in a few weeks, I'm going to ditch the hats too! Boy will that be nice.

I am mostly retiring from my blog. With little to report, I feel like I've come out on the other side. It has been a journey and the blogging has been incredibly healing for me. I am amazed at the support of friends and love from family. I feel as if I had the strength of you and your prayers holding me up these past few months. Time to catch my breath now and reflect on all of the wonderful things that await me and my family.

I am so proud of you all for doing your self exams and getting your mammograms. Please know that I am always here if you need me. I need to pay it forward big time and will be happy to do so.

Not enough words to share my thanks so please accept my simple "Thank you."

A watch pot never boils...

There is no more patience left...it is agonizingly slow to grow hair. This is something I used to take for granted...no more...I will appreciate every mm that my hair will give me! I have just begun to see the signs of new hair...a little stubble, no doubt, brought on by my expensive hair growing serum and very cheap biotin vitamins. I think I can, I think I can....let's grow some hair.

I started my next round of the cancer fight by taking Tamoxifen. I have almost two weeks under my belt and it has been mostly uneventful. A couple of 3am hot flashes (How did I wake up in an oven?) nothing a good fan can help :) This is it for the next 5 years. Luckily Tamoxifen is cheap and my cancer-fighting war is just $8/month. It's about time I found a deal in all of this business!

I've been so busy being a chemo graduate that I haven't even had time to blog about my life. I think that is a great thing? I have been feeling great and other than the no hair business, life is similar to what is was pre-diagnosis: too much laundry, dishes, homework, meetings, responsibilities and not enough sleep, relaxation, and spa days. Sound familiar?

Bear Down Chicago Bears...While you are sitting in your warm living room cheering, think of my husband who is braving the cold second Sunday in a row down at the lakefront...where he is going to freeze is going to freeze his flippin' ass off!

I will update pics as soon as I get some hair!!

Hope you are still treasuring your chest and doing your self exams each month. Remember things can change quickly and the quicker you address issues, the better off you'll be!! Off the soapbox now.

If anyone is interested I am starting up my annual American Idol pool and will reload my Idol blog. We are total addicts at my house. I am so excited to get the season underway. Shoot me a note/email and I'll make sure to include you in any communications!!

Keep warm!

Fields of Joy

There aren't enough words to describe how I feel being done with my 4th and last chemo treatment. When we left the appointment on Tuesday, I couldn't stop singing Fields of Joy by Lenny Kravitz. Hours later Clay was annoyed when he found himself humming it as well...it's a really good ear-worm!! There were also some major tears of joy involved, as well. I became very "verklempt" saying good-bye to all of my lovely nurses who took such amazing care of me during the last few weeks. The treatment itself went very smoothly and was over quickly.

Clay R.N. administered my last Neulasta shot between ILLINI victories, Football & Basketball!

I have been given a script for Tamoxifen and will be on that for a minimum of 5 years...will start in 2 weeks.

On Monday night Mike Scariano (our college friend) and his two girls Madi & Morgan came for a visit. This proved to be a great distraction for me the night before my last treatment. Mike & Clay celebrated with their old friend Jack Daniels and then next thing you know the head shaver is out, again. Mike, inspired by the photos from the head shavings, felt the inspiration of the moment and shaved down to a #1 along with Clay who needed some touching up! I was touched!

It was a fun night for us and the girls were great head shaver/helpers!! Looking forward to the start of a new year. Bring it on 2011!

Merry Christmas to all...

I hope you enjoyed a Merry Christmas today! I have had little to report as things have been status quo...isn't that a gift in itself. We have been very busy preparing for the big day today and very happy to have Clay return home from his week long work/adventure in Mumbai. We are gearing up for Tuesday for the fourth and final treatment. Hooray! May God bless you and your family in 2011!

Almost there...

Happy to report that third chemo was totally uneventful. Isn't that nice? I will be the lucky recipient of a Clay administered Neulasta shot tomorrow night to help me with my white blood cell count. I was pimping him that he should be called Clay R.N. - Do you remember Greg R.N. from "Meet the Parents" - What a great movie...love the circle of trust! Can't wait to see the next one "Little Fockers" ! This shot is longer lasting than the one I got last time and should keep me from dipping so low which will help prevent infection and I will not need to go in for any blood counts. 21 days and counting until my last treatment...yeah!

I have been as busy as a friggin' bee leading up to this treatment. I think it's a function of me knowing that I am "going down" for a few days. On Friday night I took Grace to Miracle on State St. and we saw Ingrid Michaelson & Maroon 5. I asked Grace to dress me and pick out my scarf...trying to not embarrass her yet I thinking my singing and dancing did just that! What a great show, a fun night and a perfect 1st concert experience for her. I also enjoyed Adam Levine immensely, I'm not usually a "skinny jeans on a guy" type but his voice...it's like buttah!

Another first happened this weekend and the girls got to go to their first Blackhawks game. They were so impressed and engaged. Clay & I loved seeing the birth of Hockey fans. Not that they weren't before, it's just that the United Center experience can really seal the deal! We were a little dismayed by Patrick Kane getting injured but were able to overcome our angst by the 4 goals scored by the Hawks. And to make the night even better the Hafners were on the Jumbo Tron - The kids were so excited and Jane kept asking when we were going to be on the big t.v. again. I was, of course, totally laughing that of all the damn times for me to be on that huge thing is with my red bandana on! At least I was up and dancing and having fun! :)

It is with sharper focus and joy that I hold onto these moments a little longer and treasure them so much. I had my 38th birthday yesterday. Once I had kids, I haven't cared about my birthday so much but this one I cherished. I am happy to be having another one and will welcome any that come my way.

The Season of Thanks

I went for my blood counts this morning and once again they were very low. The nurse consulted with Dr. Sweet who agreed I needed a shot of Nupogen. This is a white blood cell booster and should help me immediately. I will go back on Thursday for another count and possibly another shot. This should keep me on track for my third and fourth treatments. After the next round on 12/7, I may go back into the office for a shot of Neulasta which is a longer lasting type of white cell booster. All of this is to prevent infection which is very hard to overcome when you don't have many white blood cells!

I also got the news from the geneticist that I am not a carrier of the BRAC 1 or 2 gene. This is great news. My breast cancer was a random act of cell division! Yeah, I guess!

I am no longer bald. I have grown lots of little white hairs that resemble peach fuzz. I am just so excited to have something on my head that can create a nice lather in the shower. I am pretty sure this will all fall out again maybe when I start growing real hair after treatment #4!

For the most part I am feeling good. I have 2-3 really tired days after treatment and then I am back to life and being a busy mom!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving last week. Here is a short list of a few things I am thankful for:

*Endorphins. I had my first run last week. I did it! It wasn't all that bad either. I did get to experience a little "runner's high" that I've been missing. It's crazy that the body can totally heal in 8 weeks!

*Massage. I had my first massage, yes I even laid on my stomach. Clay & I celebrated our 13th anniversary on the 29th and went to the Kohler Waters Spa in Burr Ridge and dinner at Topaz. What a perfect way to spend our anniversary!! I loved every second of it. For those locals, The Kohler spa is one of the best spas I've been to!! (Montage, Laguna Beach is #1).

*Zumba. Jen is the perfect antidote to my chemo. I love being there. I have been back for a month and it is awesome. Loved the Cee Lo/Glee song :)

*Laughter. We laughed so freakin' hard at Thanksgiving during our annual 7-11 game. I thought isn't this the medicine there is!!

*Santa's elves: Lisa, Melinda, Jean & Kelly showed up to decorate my house for Christmas on Saturday. Can you even fathom how awesome this was for me. Clay got the decorations down from the attic and these magical elves decorated my whole house, the tree, the outside, brought wreaths, cookies, candy etc. Can't imagine a better gift you could give.

There is so much more to be thankful for but I'm saving up for my post-chemo tear jerker blog!!

Thanks for reading :) Only 25 days until Christmas...